I Think I Will
by stargirl5
Summary: What possesses a man to act in a way he doesn't wish to? To slip on a smug smile when inside was so different? Why was it so easy to don an uncaring mask when he cared more then he could believe? Blast the woman! [songfic u/m AU]


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I Think I Will   
Songfic by Stargirl  
Lyrics by Faith Hill   
  
_Okay, when I first read the lyrics I knew it was a shoe-in for a first season, but well... it seemed to cliche or pointless in the first season sooooooo.....an alternate reality for you all to feast on. Takes place in the 18th or 19th century I suppose. I wrote the bulk of it in two days before it was due for the songfic challenge thing at SMRFF. *sweatdrop* Not my best work, but nice enough I suppose. My only thing with it is as someone commented to me before--the romance is rushed. But darn it, it's hard in a songfic or any short story! I'm a long story person… But still, I hope you enjoy!_

What possesses a man to act in a way he doesn't wish to? To speak words he doesn't mean? To slip on a smug smile when inside was so different? Why was it so easy to don an uncaring mask when he cared more then he could believe? Blast the woman!

Darien Shields chugged his shot glass, grimacing as he leaned onto the elegant banister and stared out to the manicured gardens. Aggravated by his unsettled thoughts, he tugged at his collar. 

"How are you feeling?" asked a cheery voice. 

"Like a bastard, Father, like a bastard," he murmured with a musing smile.

"That you are," agreed the man, a laugh coming from his hearty belly. 

"Well, you are awfully jolly, aren't you?" he commented. 

"I'm an old man. I can take amusement in anything I please. Pardon me, my son, if it is at your expense."

Darien took in a breath with a nod. "I believe it is more preferable than the heated looks mother has been giving me. 

"And advisement. Don't be so vocal in your anger, especially," he paused with a meaningful look, "to a woman."

Darien's mind drifted to the Lady Serenity Harthrone, a spitfire woman who seemed to get under his skin every time they met. "You know it isn't my fault that we aren't…amiable towards each other," he recollected to his father who cocked an eyebrow. He shrugged his shoulders, fighting for words other than "she started it" that wouldn't lower him to a child. "I was rather taken with her at first," he confided in simple tones. 

His father laughed. "Is this a confession? Your mother would die if she misses it."

Darien shook his head. "And _I_ will bloody die if she hears it." He turned towards his father, crossing his arms and leaning against the railing. "I was… a bit forward in my stare perhaps, which she seemed deemed to point out. I made a polite suggestion about her choice in dress and her eyes flared. She walked up to me--I remember it. I started to acknowledge how fickle a woman she was but when she poured the wine from her glass over me I don't think I was ever more shocked." He let out a curt laugh. "Mother grinds me on my behavior." He made a gesture in the air. "She waved away what Serenity did to me as if it were nothing! If I did that she would be screeching my ears out for months."

  
"But you forget. Woman always side with woman. And something you better accept is that the woman is always right."

Darien strode inside and poured himself another shot glass. "Don't I know it," he murmured and chugged down the glass.

"You are lower than the pigs, Darien Shields. Your ego is sickening," a feminine voice bit.

Darien groaned, suppressing the need to massage his temples. He leveled a gaze on the Lady Serenity--a lovely sight if not for the contempt on her face.

"You forget, my Lady," Darien murmured, "that your father ate with the pigs." It was a cruel thing to play on. He knew it even before the struck look filtered in her blue eyes. Her back stiffened, blushed lips thinning. 

Her father's follies were legend, a scoundrel of a man, though having been killed years ago. In one of his lower days he snuck onto a farm and ate the food for the pigs. His chest clenched with the sour feeling directed at himself. 

Were there tears in Serenity's fiery eyes? She turned before he could ponder it longer and began walking back towards the party. 

  
_What would you say if I said something strange to make a difference  
And how you feel  
What would you do if I did something out of the blue  
To make the world a better place  
Oh I think I will_

Darien paused, eyelids dragging closed and back open. "I'm sorry." 

Serenity stopped, porcelain face tilting towards him. And then she turned with searching eyes and a hesitant mouth--for once.

He gave her a smile. Her lips quirked up and she nodded, turning around and continuing away.

He stepped forward. "I'm sorry for everything." Heck, why he was at it, why not? 

This time she did not turn and he walked over to her frozen form, slipping in front of her. "I'm sorry for every time I've offended you, I'm sorry for being a bastard."

"A thorough but effective one?" she murmured, though nothing bitter or sarcastic iced it.

"Of course," he smiled back, and he lifted one of her slender hands and planted a kiss on the milky skin. His actions stilled as his gaze locked on a ring on her finger.

A form hovered on the veranda. "Serenity," he called. 

Her lovely blue eyes turned from his to look at the man before gliding back. She tucked in a breath and pulled her hand from his, fiddling her fingers over the ring. "Arnold proposed the other night," she explained. A smile pulled at her lips but didn't reach her eyes. She nodded at him. "I better go. I'll see you later, Darien." And then she walked to the man, his arm wrapping over her shoulders and leading her inside. 

Darien breathed in, unsettled by the twisting sensations in his chest. After a moment, not even sure of his own motives, he hurried inside after the couple. A burning crept in his eyes. He gripped the man's shoulder from in back, whipping him around and away from Serenity's startled form. His hand fisted and barreled into the man's pointy face. 

"Arnold!" Serenity screeched, hurrying to his side and touching the man's marred face that he cradled. Blood trickled down his lips as he stared with bewildered eyes at the heaving Darien. Serenity's gaze flew to Darien. "What were you thinking?

His mouth moved but nothing came out. His river of words had run dry. What was he thinking?

Serenity's chest heaved, fire blazing in her eyes. "Are you going to say you're sorry for this as well?" she demanded.

He couldn't answer. 

"Get out of this house," her words came tight and pronounced. "My mother may have invited you but know this, you are not welcomed here." 

Darien shook his head, eyes glazed over. And then he grabbed for his coat and left. 

The days were horrible. His mother wouldn't even speak to him, just shake her head with an exasperated sigh and leave. His father simply cast him a sympathetic gaze and lifted a wineglass in a toast. He excepted invitations to help ease his mind. But after one when he went to see a play with the Duke of Aaron and his daughter and having a sour encounter with Serenity in which her gaze made something shrivel within him---well, he decided it'd be better to withdraw himself to his home.

Until one frightful morning. It was one month after he attended the party and his mother had finally begun talking to him again. He stared at her with shocked eyes as she turned around with a puzzled expression, hand hovering over her chin. "Didn't you know, my son? She's getting married today."

Something even more powerful than instinct and need encompassed him and controlled his movements then when he had punched that Arnold. He grabbed his coat and ran out the door knowing dam-well what he was doing.

  
_Gonna change for a break  
Gonna take your heart and make it mine this time  
Oh I, I think I will  
I'm gonna run 'til I find another way to make you mine in time  
Oh I, I think I will  
(I think I will)_

He barged into the church, ignoring the startled looks from people. He walked up to the man standing next to the guest book and greeting the people. "Where's the bride's area?"

The man peered at him with beady eyes and a perplexed reddened face. "I am sorry, sir, but she is getting ready for the wedding. May I suggest waiting till after?" 

"No!" Darien shouted, fisting his hands and attempting to suppress his frustration. "Please I need to see her."

The man opened his mouth that gaped like a frog's when a woman's hand rested on the man's stiff shoulder. A warm middle faced lady smiled at him, laughter behind pursed lips. "Cutting it close, dear, now aren't we?" she asked Darien. "Down that hall to the left. And remember to show her your charming side."

Darien blinked and shook his head, quickly leaving the two and sweeping down the hall. He stumbled into a bridesmaid, murmuring an apology though his gaze locked into the room the girl had come from. 

The bridesmaid frowned at him. "Please, you shouldn't be here--"

"Excuse me," he said offhandedly and slipped inside, staring at the vision of white and gold in the middle of the room. The murmured babble of the women bustling inside died down, their stares resting on him. Serenity turned her golden head in confusion, her eyes catching on Darien's form and her mouth dropping open.

Darien stepped forward, gesturing to the other women inside. Serenity stood in helpless wonderment as they left the room with suppressed smiles.

Her eyes wandered to his when they were alone. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

A laugh burst from his throat unexpectedly. He shook his head. "Fine language for a Lady."

A frown pulled at her cherry lips. "I can speak as I please and you sure didn't come here to patronize my language." 

"No," Darien agreed.

"Well?"

She looked lovely in white, Darien thought before blinking out of his short stuper. He squared his shoulders, sucking in a breath. "You cannot marry Arnold."

Serenity's blue eyes dilated, mouth moving silently before the damn let loose. "And who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do? I told you that you weren't welcomed at my house and you bloody well are not welcomed at my wedding!" she shouted and moved to leave the room.

His hand shot out and wrapped around her arm. "Wait!" He dragged in a breath. "Please listen to me."

She lifted her chin, lips a firm line and her eyes bored into his. "Fine. I'm listening."

What possesses a man to lower himself to a woman? To fall in love with a woman he did nothing but argue with? Why was it so easy to loose himself in her gaze and his faithful confidence slipping through his fingers? What possesses a man to lay down his heart and reveal a secret that endangered his soul?

  
_What would you give if I give you everything  
And that's for nothing  
How would you feel  
What would you think if I thought about doing something good  
Yeah just to make you smile  
Oh I think I will_

"I love you." The words seemed far a way, hoarse on a wind of breath.

Her porcelain face was lifted to his still, but her wide eyes were soft and unfocused, her thin lips dropping open in silent breaths. A tearful smile filtered across her face.

His heart soared. His head ducked down. Her lips near by a mere few inches. The distance diminished bit by bit. 

  
_Taking it slow  
Putting a right goal  
More like no other think I will_

Their lips met, softly touching like petals against one another. Her slender arms entwined around his neck. 

He pulled away with a smile after a moment. Her sooty rim of eyelashes fluttered open. "Should we go and cancel the wedding."

"No."

He blinked and she laughed. "Would you mind taking the groom's place if he decides to leave after a little chat?"

A grin spread across his lips. "I think I will like doing that very much."

  
_Oh how positive  
I think I will_

"Should we go have that chat now?" he continued. 

She should her head, voice a mere breath. "No. Right now you should kiss me again."

Darien cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, I should?"

She nodded her head seriously. "The woman is always right."

"You know, my mother always said that."

Serenity grinned. "Then it muse be correct."

"Well then, I believe I must." He leaned down and captured her smiling lips.

**__**

Would love to hear what you think!

StarInMyPocket.net

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